I don't think you're ready for this belly...

35 weeks! The relief in making it to 35 weeks and 4 days is a joy that is hard to put in to words appropriate for all readers.

I've been living from Saturday to Saturday for about 8 months now. Each Saturday morning, an alert on my phone congratulates me on making it one more week and telling me that my babies are the size of blueberries or kumquats. But yesterday morning, as I struggled to come out of my exhaustion coma, my alert came through with great news: my babies are the size of honey-dew melons. That puts their weights in the area of 5.25 lbs+ per baby.

Most of my pregnancy was a total blur, but I can tell you what I did just about every Saturday because it seemed like the only day that mattered. 35 freaking weeks. That is the average week twins are born, BTW.

And it really does take all these weeks to be mentally ready to have a baby. A flip has to switch between "please, God, keep them in" and "get these babies the hell out of me." My flip switched just the other day.

Friday night Nick and I went on a hot date to the grocery store to stock up on some gluten-free things that I would need in the next month or so. And coffee. We have a stock pile of coffee right now. We think running out of caffeine with 2 new babies could be a devastating affair.

My trips to the store over the last 2-3 months have all been the same: inquiries from obnoxious strangers about my due date, if I'm having twins, did I think I would deliver right there in the cereal aisle? I've been cordial so far, usually just letting them think I'm due any day with 1 baby. (If not, I am opening the door to questions about c-sections, breastfeeding and infertility treatments) But after Friday, all I have to say to all of you busy bodies is SCREW YOU.

I'm obviously tired (you let me know) and hormonal (duh) and all you should say is:

YOU LOOK GREAT! WHEN ARE YOU DUE?

And when I respond with:

I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO; I'M HAVING TWINS.

You then say:

WOW, YOU ARE 30+ WEEKS WITH TWINS AND LOOK THIS GOOD? AMAZING!

We then part ways, me with a smile and you knowing you did a good deed. It is a win-win.

But this week, as I approached a grand milestone, your reactions changed severely. On our hot date the other night, I caught a lot of giggles, a lot of "whoa, she is overdue" and several gasps. A few people looked at me and laughed. Now, we can all get paranoid from time to time and I am no exception to this, but my observations were real. I was the Friday night spectacle and Meijer and I hated it. I couldn't decide how to respond: dirty looks, middle fingers, hateful words. Could this be the day I use my rehearsed response? I'M PREGNANT WITH TWINS, YOU'RE JUST FAT! Even with all the extra hormones I have, I couldn't do it. I just pouted instead. I yelled at Nick when we got home, ate a whole large box of Mike and Ike's and watched Glee on the couch.

What these ignorant shoppers don't know is that I am growing 2 babies, as in more than 1. Being pregnant with twins does not feel like being pregnant with a singleton plus 5 or 6 extra pounds. This experience required ultrasounds every 14 days, cervical length checks every 14 days after 24 weeks, extra nurses and extra doctors. Not to mention, the risk of Twin-to-twin transfusion, the fear of gestational diabetes, placental problems, not gaining enough weight and the constant reminder that my babies could very well be extremely premature. They don't know that I can't walk without the use of my Prenatal Cradle and no, my bra is not on backwards. They also don't know that I am very fortunate not to be on bed rest, as my overstuffed 35 week belly measures 44 weeks.

Yes, I look like I'm 4 weeks overdue. Don't hate.

I try and remember that most people don't think and their ignorance causes them to do and say rude things. Still, I hope the general population exercises kindness and politeness, especially at Christmas.

And especially to those of us with cankles who are waddling as fast as we can.

Because you all love me, I am trusting you with my first released pregnancy picture, from yesterday - 35 weeks and 3 days. Enjoy the belly; I worked hard to get it to look like this!