Wednesday, November 14, 2007

There's no crying in baseball

I have a rule: no crying in front of therapists. I did it once and the therapist looked uncomfortable. It's a hard standard to stick with because I talk about the hardest things in my whole life with them and I flood with emotion. It's a wonder how I can keep all that inside. Even though they strive for professionalism, I think they care about us more than they could say. There are rules in therapyville about not kissing the babies and watching affection. But, they too, love Ella. They want her to thrive and grow and get better any way she can. When we hurt, they hurt and want to hold her close. When we have joy, they want to cover her with kisses. I wonder what would happen progress-wise if therapists were allowed to get "emotionally involved". Not to the point where they would cross boundaries, get in trouble, etc. But, what would happen if we let them do their therapies and didn't have to think about showing too much love? Would the babies heal faster? Grow stronger? Love more people?

Today was one of those days I had to remind myself that we don't cry in front of therapists. But, the tragic part about that is, who else would understand?


YaXuan said...

It's sad that you can't cry in front of your therapist, but you have good insight. We get into this career to help because we truly care, not because we make good money. Trust me, we don't. It's heart breaking that I can't cry with my families or hold my hurting kids or hug them when they finally pass a class. You're right, we probably understand your joys and pains more than most people cause in some ways, we're right there with you.

I'm a therapist, and I can't cry.

(but you can cry in front of me, it's OK)